And now there are none.

It's the end of an era.

Charlie came over this morning to get Leah.  It was forecast to be a spectacular day and he would be home to see how she did and run interference if need be, so he was here early.

A last hug before goodbye.

The handoff

After many hugs and inward tears (the real ones came later),we loaded her in the car and then she was gone, along with half my heart.

Leah is special to me.  When I got her at 4 months old, she was very skittish, and continued to be leery of everyone, including me, as she grew up.  I dont' remember exactly how old she was, maybe 2 or 3, but she got her head caught between some boards and was slowly strangling herself.  When I came out, I was sure it was too late.  Though she was still moving, she was dead weight and I couldn't get her to shift her weight at all.  I ran and got a hammer and pounded out the board that was holding her fast and pulled her head out, whereupon she staggered over and fell on the ground.  I cuddled her, encouraged her, talked to her, stroked her, and pleaded with her.  She arose and fell again, after drunkenly stumbling around for a few steps.  Her head rose and gazed around, lighted on me, and fell again to the ground.

I patted and talked to her some more, then went and repaired the boards, making sure they were now close enough that no other goat of any age could get its head through.  After a while, Leah recovered, and thereafter she did not run from me.  She knew I'd saved her life, and a special bond has existed between us from that moment on.

I feel like I've betrayed her, though I know I haven't.  She'll be wondering where she is, where I am, why her surroundings are different, though she was born on Charlie's farm.  I wonder if she'll have any remembrance of his place?

After Leah had gone, I packed up Hal and took him to his new home.  He was pretty calm on the way, even lay down after a while.  All I could see of him were his ears.

Little goat ears are all that can be seen.  Hal was comfortable enough to lie down.

He's faring a bit better, since he's joining Leo, Dandy, D'Arcy, Fedra, and Hermione. He knows them all.  It'll be old home week.  I left him in his new digs and returned home to an empty barn, a vacated pasture.

Hal joined Hermione, his littermate.  They recognized each other, but he was more interested in going home.

Hal stayed by the fence, waiting for me. 

I wonder how long it'll take to stop looking out the window to watch the goats, how long before I don't reach for my jacket because it's time to feed.  It's been a long and difficult evening.  I don't feel like doing anything, no ambition at all. I was fine so long as it was daytime; now all I have is my thoughts.