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Saturday, September 10, 2016

It's getting real

          The end of an era.  I milked Dandelion and D’Arcy for the last time last night, and for the last time used the milking machine.  I have such sorrow about letting them go, but there’s a part of me that, regardless of sorrow, knows it must be done in order to move on.  I’m going to miss them, D’Arcy especially. I love them both, but D’Arcy’s always been my pocket goat.
Last time milking
          I've been dispersing my herd for a few months now, but today was different. D'Arcy, Dandy, and Leo went to their new home, and Fedra  will be joining them on Monday. When I walked out into the barn tonight to feed the remaining animals, it felt empty. No D'Arcy, no Dandy, no real milking, only Leah, who is almost dry. 

I feel like crying. I teeter between numbness and overwhelming sorrow. Goats have been so much a part of my life for the last 9 or 10 years that it's hard to imagine life without them. When Leah leaves...well, I'm not going to think about that until it happens.

          When I left the two does at Stephen Lee’s, Dandy was bleating loudly.  Yes, it was probably because the other goats had gone out to the pasture, but she and D’Arcy were turned toward me, watching me.  I felt like I had betrayed them.

          I know the cure for this.  Let myself feel the grief, then help someone else.  Get out of myself completely.  In the meantime, I'll go hug a goat.
Dandy settling in.  Her doeling, Hermione, is on the other side of the fence.  Instant recognition, and "Mama, can I nurse from you?"  "No!"

Dandy--with her daughter in the background, and her granddaughter next to her. 

Are you really leaving us here?

Hey!  Where are you going?
Leo doesn't have any qualms. He has a new buddy, and in a few days, a new purpose.

Apron off. Time to get down to some serious eating.